This is the vehicle Mark Webber will pilot to the 2012 Drivers Championship, mark my words. Click the image for “Ludicrous” size.

Here’s a comparison of the new 2012 RB8 and the 2011 RB7

You may remember, from about a year ago, Jett’s horrific facial injuries sustained while performing his rite of passage into manhood. Or rather, you may remember that he fell off his bike while learning to ride. But to Jett, I guess, it was a bigger deal because after the tribulation he never got on his bike again. His bike has been sitting in the garage in pristine condition, unused since that fateful day. We’ve tried different techniques like praise and encouragement, threats and intimidation, promises of rewards or punishment, and ridicule and derision but he has never budged.

But last week he finally cracked. He’s a stubborn little bugger, I’ll give him that. We had to start from scratch in teaching him to ride and he fought us every step of the way. I got a sore back from leaning over trying to hold his bike up while he gained balance and confidence, but flashbacks of the pavement rushing up to smack him in the chops would come back to haunt him and turn him into a blubbering, frozen mess.

It took about a month but we finally got there. In baby steps we got him to ride from one neighbors house to the other. Then, all the way to the corner (one way only, he wasn’t about to ride all the way back). Then, in one bold, ambitious expedition and with the help from a couple neighbours kids we made it all the way round the block!

Then this week I came home and he was proud to tell me he rode all the way to school and back on the new bike track to pick up Ashton with mum. For some reason he was too unwell to attend school himself that day, but that wouldn’t stop him getting some peddle time on his bike. It turns out it took about an hour each way to ride 2km but hey, it’s a great achievement.

Answer: when you’re Vitantonio Liuzzi, the second best driver in a two driver team racing for HRT who’s cars are little more than mobile chicanes and you try to pull this stunt:

A wider angle from the rear shows he put a wheel on the grass in the breaking zone about 100m before the chicane and got all out of shape. For the record, you lose a lot of grip if you decide to leave the track.

Liuzzi, who usually qualifies last and is only “racing” for HRT as a last resort and will never be picked up by a competent team, was handed a 5-spot grid penalty for next weeks Singapore Grand Prix.

I mean penalising someone who qualifies dead last anyhow isn’t really a punishment. Yay stewards.

This is ludicrous. I understand that AFL is a pro sport, but it’s a game. Disguising greed as the right to ask for better pay and conditions is really insulting to the fans. True, there’d be no AFL without players but the same can be said for coaches, commentators, televisors and sponsors. And fans. The timing of the AFLPA play at getting more when their snouts are already in the trough is obvious. The average player salary is already over $220,000 or around $10,000 per game, and they want more to keep ahead of inflation? The AFL team salary cap is over $8million, with a floor of around $7.6million. This doesn’t take into account veteran wages and other loopholes which can increase individual pays by around a third.

Really, they can’t cry poor. At least they’re not striking, but threatening to cover the AFL logo on their jumpers this weekend just reeks spoilt greedy children.

When I see 95% conversion of set shots no more than 35m and 45 degrees from in front of the goals, maybe then they can ask for a productivity-based raise. Or when they start playing mid-week and 80- games per season.

Bruins are the first team in history to win the Stanley Cup by winning three 7-game series, beating Vancouver 4-0 in the final game. Before game 7, Luongo was doing alright in Vancouver going 3-0 with less then 1.0 GAA but in Boston he was 0-3 with more than 6.0 GAA. Crazy. Anyhow, well done Boston.

Don't drop it! It's a long way down!

That leaves the 92/93 Montreal Canadiens as the last Canadian NHL champions.

You know, as much as I’ve derided Twitter over the last couple years, it really isn’t all that bad now that I’ve started using it.

Granted, since Twitter is the world’s largest intellectual toilet bowl, you do get a lot of shit. But you occasionally get gems like these:

Yep, that’s Mike Finke who, like any regular traveler at an airport, whipped out his device and Tweeted that he’d arrived (I can’t believe I just used that word…. “Tweeted”). Only this wasn’t from gate 17 after a 14 hour flight across the Pacific… it was from the Kennedy Space Center after a two week mission on the Space Shuttle! Astronauts are just like everyone else, I guess.

And this is Ron Garan, part of Expedition 27/28 on the International Space Station which STS134 was visiting. He watched the landing From Spaaaaaace!

Also, I’ve been retweeted twice in a row. Here’s my latest after watching the Canucks get humiliated in Boston:

Retweets certainly get around fast.

Too bad for Luongo, one of the heroes of Team Canada in the Vancouver Olympics. Series is now tied at 2-2 (at the time of writing this) as they head back to Vancouver. I hope they win. I need a new Vancouver jersey to replace my old one to commemorate. It’s the only current Canadian team I don’t have.

Fifth in Australia, fourth in Malaysia, third in China, second in Turkey. Mark Webber hasn’t lead for a single lap this year (Vettel has lead for 184, Lewis Hamilton is next on 16 or so which shows how dominant Vettel has been this year), but he’s on Pole for the start of Gran Premio de Espana Santander 2011 at Catalunya. I know where I’ll be in about 2 hours: glued to One HD watching the race!

It’s sad new indeed that Robert Kibica was injured in a crash in opening stage of the Ronde di Andora rally on Sunday. This article has most of the details. He has true grit and great determination and I’m sure he’ll race again but it will take him a while. The good news is that he’s out of an induced coma and can move his hand which was in danger of being lost.

Thoughts then turn to his replacement. My money is on Nick Heidfeld, who was a team mate of Kubica in the BMW Sauber team. Another option is Nico Hulkenberg who is currently a third string driver at Force India. Hey, he scored pole at Brazil in his rookie season but failed to keep his drive when he couldn’t bring sponsorship to the team.

Beyond these, desirable contenders are a little thin on the ground. Bruno Senna is a short term option, but he surely doesn’t rate as a primary driver. It’s a bit sad, because Renault feel they can make a good push on the championship this year with their new R31 and it seems Kubica was the only one who could make it happen.

I went Karting last week as part of a team building exercise at work. It was quite a day. It was at a place called Warren’s Ultra Fast Karts, at a place called Barbagallo Raceway north of Perth. We were all excited. The Australian Festival of Speed had been held the previous week which was a once off petrol-head dream showcasing the best of Australian motor sports. Mark Webber had even driven a few laps in his top of the line RB6 Red Bull Formula 1 car.

Now, were were led to believe that we’d be racing on the actual raceway in twin engine super-pro karts at more than 100km/h on the same track that you see the V8 Supercars competing. Something got lost in the translation somewhere, and we ended up on a shorter track in smaller karts. We felt a bit disappointed, but looking back it’s probably just as well we were in smaller underpowered karts.

The marshals explained to us that we were under a mix of official international race rules and house rules, which meant a “strike” system. If you broke some of the “cardinal” rules, you would be shot on sight, no questions asked. These rules included taking your helmet off, getting out of your kart and generally doing something completely unsafe and idiotic. There were also “crash and burn” rules, which involved ignoring directions from the officials, overtaking while under the yellow flag, causing contact. Three of these strikes, and you’d be thrown out on your ear and never invited back.  And finally, there were “points rules” which meant race points would be deducted from you for spinning off track and generally making racing mistakes.

The only thing they didn’t explain was scoring. Being a competitive guy that I am, I really wanted to win the respect and admiration of my peers as well as a shiny trophy. If I had known how we were to be scored, it would have changed my whole strategy.

Anyhow, we had a ten minute practice run and five races. The first four races we were lined up on the grid by car number, once in order then once in reverse order. I was in car 20, the highest numbered car and so I started last in the first race. I was cautious as well, because I could remember the last time we did indoor karting. My workmates couldn’t tell the difference between real life and X-box gaming and I wanted to stay clear of everyone. In the second race I started on pole, which was good. In the first race we were all a bit cautious and apprehensive, even with the ten minutes of practice were were given to familiarise ourselves with the cars and track. During the second race you could tell everyone was going hell for leather, pushing the envelope and beyond into the kitty litter. Seeya, suckers. Unfortunately I was involved in an “incident” and managed to bend one of my wheels. Three wheels wasn’t going to cut it. The marshals were unimpressed, citing the “crash and burn” rules and the fact that there was only one more spare car for the entire event so I better take care of it. Man, it wasn’t even my fault! That was on the second to last lap so I didn’t manage to get any more times in.

We pulled in after the second race, and had a look at the results. I came last in the first race and first in the second. Between all of us we kind decided that it was all just a fun, noncompetitive scoring scheme since those who started at the front generally finished in the first three positions, and those who started towards the rear scored only minor points.

We had two more races, again starting in car order then reverse order. I was being pretty cautious because I really didn’t want to wreck another car so I was holding back a bit and not doing much overtaking.

Then for the fifth race we were handicapped according to points. I started third last, and I felt ok about that because I knew I was in the top three racers. Knowing that it was a handicap and remembering how some other guys raced I knew that everyone would bunch up about three quarters of the way around the track and there’d be havoc so I decided to take the last race nice and easy. No way was I getting close to those other Kamikazes. The race ended with more spins than a Dead or Alive song.

After the race the final results were announced. I ended up coming fourth. We also found out that points and positions had been decided by fastest lap times, race by race. Not by finishing order. There were transponders in each car which registered every time the car went over the start/finish line. Man I wish I had known that at the start. I still could have won the last race by holding back for a lap then blasting away at a couple hot laps with nobody in front to slow me down.

It was a good day and we all had fun, but I hope we can try something different next year.

Wheee!