A series of unfortunate events

Glowing Cylon spineOK, so we had a bit of a bad day at the Hoover household yesterday. First off, when I woke up I found that I had done my back in. I don’t know if it was from lifting something the day before, or perhaps when fighting off those Ninjas, or if I just plain slept on it wrong. It was a bit painful so I decided to take it easy for a day and I called in sick.

It so happens that yesterday was the day the plumber was scheduled to come and fix our drain pipes. Almost a month after we have moved in we still have to bail out the laundry trough over the back fence into the laneway after washing our clothes like we’re livin’ in the 1800s or something. The good part is that he turned up on time, fixed a few other leaking pipes but couldn’t get this main job fixed as he didn’t have the tools to find let alone clear the blockage. Suzanne was with Jett who was staring in wonderment at this hole in the ground which happened to be the one the plumber decided was blocked. The second in this series of unfortunate incidents happened to Suzanne as she stood in the doorway talking to the plumber. She had one hand on either side of the door frame, for some reason with her left fingers in between the door and the frame, where the door hinges. A breeze which was running through the house quickly forced the door closed… You don’t need to be a physics major to know that this particular lever-fulcrum configuration produces quite a lot of force.

Hand in DoorTo her credit, Suzanne kept a civil tongue and did not once finish any of the expletives she started. As soon as she extricated herself from the door, Suzanne ran to the freezer from some soothing ice. Jett thought it was very funny to see mum with her head, shoulders and upper torso in the freezer and with her feet alternately running on the spot and jumping from side to side with howls of pain emanating from deep within. Even the plumber had a wry smile on his face.

So after the plumber had scheduled to come back the next day to finish the job, Suzanne decided that she couldn’t drive to take the kids to Tee-ball practice. Her fingers were showing evidence of hematoma, and her finger nails were starting to lift. Poor excuse, I reckon as she still had at least 6 working fingers, including two thumbs! So, she ordered me I offered to drive with my bad back and all. We were running a little late so I went to start the car while she gathered her handbag and a couple “road cokes” to drink on the way. At the car she handed me the stuff as I was busy moving some of the junk in the way from where the plumber had been working. Without really thinking about it I put the cokes and the handbag on the roof of the car, finished moving a large, but light, shelf, grabbed the cokes and got into the car.

The third in this series of unfortunate incidents happened somewhere on the road in between home and Tee-ball when Suzanne asked “can you grab my phone from my handbag, I gotta call someone”.

I looked back at her and said “Didn’t I give you your handbag?” She had her coke which was dutifully cooling and soothing her damaged hand, so she must have the handbag close by. You might have worked it out quicker than I did at the time, but at this point it’s quite obvious that I had failed to grab the handbag from on top of the roof after I moved the shelf out of the way. I got the all important cokes, but not the bag with the credit cards, house and car keys, and the requested phone.

The thing is, even if the bag is found by some kind-hearted good Samaritan, there’s no real way he can contact us; all the docs in her purse have our old address, he can’t call the mobile because it’s with the bag, and he can’t find us on whitepages.com.au yet because we just got the phone connected a couple days ago and aren’t listed yet.