So, dude. You need to change your headlight bulb because it burnt out. Sucks to be you. Anyhow, here’s some tips and tricks to make life easier next time.

1. You need an H220 H4 from eXelite. Costs about $10. If you don’t already have a spare in the glove box, then go buy one now. But having a spare on hand will save a lot of time.
2. Don’t try and go in through the front. It’s much easier to open the hood and go in through the back.
3. If you need to change the passenger side bulb then, yeah, you’re going to need to remove the battery. Sorry dude.
4. See that big, black rubber seal about the size of a CD? That’s what keeps the water and dust and crap out of the headlight assembly. After you have unclipped the cable from the back of the bulb, you need to remove this so you can take the bulb out. Be careful. Don’t tear it.
5. There’s a little clip setup which keeps the bulb in place. Unclip the top part first, then flip it down.
6. Now you can take the bulb out.
7. Do not touch the new bulb
8. Do not touch the new bulb
9. Do not touch the new bulb
10. Put the new bulb in, flip the clip back up, put the black rubber seal back in place, clip the cable back in place and you’re almost done.
11. Since you’re an uncoordinated dipshit, you’ve already dropped the nuts which keep the battery in place into some inaccessible part of the engine bay. Best way to recover these is to tape one of your Rare Earth Magnets onto a knitting needle and fish for them.
12. Since you’re a forgetful moron, here’s the code to unlock the anti-theft feature on the radio: 064. It’s the last three digits in the VIN.

So there you have it. Job done. Go wash your hands and bask in your own glory. You deserve it, dude.