How I came to be known as The King of Speed
So, I had a run-in with the local gendarmerie while visiting my parents down in Dunsborough over the weekend. We’d sent the kids down to spend time with their grand parents for a few days during school holidays, and we came down to pick them up and spend a few days down there ourselves. The kids have had a great time: staying up late, walking the dogs, playing with some other friends they haven’t seen in a while, eating themselves silly etc.
We decided to take them for a drive for something to do, and we found ourselves in Bunker Bay. We found a group of people setting up for a wedding, which was quite cool. We stayed back a bit on the other end of the beach, which was part of this small cove with cliffs on one end which made a nice backdrop. We were also able to observe people walking down to the beach complaining about how dirty the sand was, and how difficult it was to walk in these shoes. What a stupid idea it is to have a wedding on a beach! Strange that a beach would have sand, huh.
Anyhow, on the drive back I had a bit of a lead foot, and who should come over the rise but a police cruiser… It was a bit hilly in this area and I guess I still had my foot down after I’d made it over the crest and I was going a bit fast. I looked down at the speedo to verify, and I was indeed going over 90.
Suzanne just started her cackling routine, saying “Oh you’re so done, boy”. Thanks, Suzanne. Anyhow, in the rear view mirror I saw his brake lights come on, so I knew he was turning around and within a minute would be on my bumper indicating for me to pull over. Now, a minute is a long time, and I might have been able to hit the gas and make a run for it. I could even possibly turn around myself and hope that he didn’t notice me as I drove past him again, but hey… he caught me dead bang there was no avoiding it. I really was so done.
So a minute later, after we had prepared the kids for this event and told them not to worry, I had pulled over with the police cruiser behind me. Now, friends I have in the US and Canada might be puzzled about my next move: I got out of the car and started talking to them. The main reason was one of respect. I didn’t want him to have to walk all the way (small distance though it was) and bend down to talk to me through my window. It’s also a kind of power thing, I suppose. If I can meet him half way then the cop isn’t standing over me in a power position. I realise that in America, especially, if you get out of your car and walk towards the cop car you might get your head blown off or at least a good Tasering, but not here in Australia.
The next thing I did was to be completely honest about what I’d done. It turns out “he” was a “she”. “Do you know why we pulled you over?” she asked. Of course I did. I wasn’t about to say “Nuh” and feign ignorance. “I think I might have been going a bit fast, eh”. I’ve used these two methods before to get out of at least one other ticket where I was going quite fast. If I had sat in my car, and denied speeding then I believe that I would have been given a fine on that occasion, and on this occasion. Well, this time I did get a fine but she was nice enough to “drop it down” to the next lowest bracket which meant half the fine and no demerit points.
Ashton was leaning out the window to sticky beak and noticed the colour of the pad the cop was writing on. “Are you giving my dad a yellow card?” she asked. We all had a good laugh about that one. Both the cops were quite reasonable and we had time for small chit-chat about stuff. They even allowed us to take a photo of me, which you can see above. They gave me the fine, and I thanked them for cutting me a break on halving it. Ashton piped up one more time with “Dad, don’t thank them!”
As we drove off I asked everyone if they wanted to stop in town and get a drink as a treat. Ashton was horrified. “No way, not with the King of Speed!”
Oh precious one. She’d been calling me this all weekend. Am I ever going to live it down?
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