So, this is what I'm thinking…

I don’t get what it is with Eric Bana. I just don’t understand why he is such a star. This ignorance may be contributing to my paranoia, for he seems to stalk me wherever I go.

Even though I never watched these shows, I remember he was in the likes of Comedy Company or Full Frontal. These were very low quality, low brow comedy shows even for Australian standards. Yep, you understand correctly. I don’t think there’s any good Australian comedy shows. It all went down hill after “Hey Dad” left our screens. I only remember Bana from the promos you’d see advertising next weeks episode of whatever pathetic show he was on. I never watched them because I valued my brain and didn’t want it turned to mush.

Then 2000 happened, and he played the part of Dr James Wright’s nephew in “Chopper”. And he was pretty good too. He put on a stack of weight, and must have studied footage of Chopper Read or met him because he had a lot of Read’s mannerisms and idiosyncrasies down pat. I enjoyed the character and enjoyed the movie. Two thumbs up, as they say. And “Good for him”, I thought. He’s done something better than “Poiter” and the other idiotic characters. Chopper is essentially a caricature in much the same way his Full Frontal characters were so it wasn’t a big leap to for Bana to play him, but still. Not bad. Yeah, yeah, Bana had a bit part in “The Castle” but Chopper was his first lead role as far as I can remember.

But the next thing I see is he’s in this “Black Hawk Down” movie with the likes of Josh Hartnett, Ewan McGregor and Tom Sizemore. Bana played some mysterious, baddass CIA agent and it was weird as hell listening to his American accent. But it was still weirder seeing him in a huge Hollywood Blockbuster. I couldn’t, and still can’t, get past his work on Full Frontal. This can’t be the same dude.

Since then, he’s popped up when I least expect it. The Hulk? Good grief. How did he get that gig? Did the casting agent think it’d be a good joke to get Bana to play Banner? And he played Hector in Troy? Where did this come from? I was down at my parents’ place last year and late one night we were looking for something to watch on Foxtel. My sister suggested some random arty Australian movie called “Romulus, My Father” and who should be lead? You got it.

I seem to notice him in magazines, in TV ads, in radio and such, partly because people I know usually point it out and say “There’s Bana for you, Brian!” but partly because I believe I may have wronged him in a previous life and he is somehow stalking me.

Last week, I watched the live telecast of the AFL Grand Final, and who’s mug appears front and centre dressed in St Kilda garb? Eric bloody Bana! It was almost worth it at the end seeing him teary eyed when his team lost. I watched the Norm Smith medal ceremony then left the TV room to get some sushi and flick through the TV magazine from the newspaper to see what else was on that day. And who had a feature article in the TV mag? G’wan, guess. It’s like this all the time!